Hamilton Nolan argues that most voters don’t think deeply about politics, not because they’re stupid, but because they’re busy with real life and rely on second-hand information. Political opinions are often shallow and easily manipulated, so real political change depends on meaningful, person-to-person conversations. He urges politically-engaged people to talk directly with those they disagree with, especially far-right supporters, with the goal of persuasion through empathy rather than confrontation.
The key, he says, is to start by discussing shared values, fairness, responsibility and kindness, rather than policy positions. Once common moral ground is established, it becomes easier to connect those values to political ideas and expose inconsistencies between people’s beliefs and the actions of political leaders. These respectful, values-based conversations won’t always succeed but can foster genuine understanding and self-reflection, sometimes leading to profound political shifts. Most people are not evil but misinformed, and patient, good-faith dialogue is one of the most powerful tools ordinary citizens have to push back against manipulation and extremism.
Jim Stewartson has created a framework for everyone who wants to do their part to break the far-right psychological lock on so many of our family, friends, and neighbours. Jim is in the US so this is Trump/MAGA focused but the ideas can be applied to RUK supporters:
David Robson describes how people will be far more open-minded than you realise if you adopt these simple conversational techniques: be curious, get personal, listen and learn
This detailed guide explains how to dismantle Trump/MAGA arguments, which can be adapted to RUK supporters.
Research has identified three ways to make difficult political conversations easier:
- Appeal to people’s better selves
- Promote an expansive, diverse ‘us’
- Show that change is possible and that people can make it happen
HOPE not hate argue that the goal isn’t to win the argument; it’s to make Reform UK supporters think twice. The far-right know how powerful everyday conversations can be. Whether it’s online or face to face, they use local Facebook groups, WhatsApp chats and word of mouth to quietly spread division and distrust. That’s why it matters when we speak up too. Here are a few places where sharing can make a real difference:
- A local Facebook group
- A WhatsApp chat with friends or family
- A message to a friend who’s undecided
- Someone you see on the school run, at work, or in your local area.
It’s not about winning arguments. Reform UK rely on people staying quiet. But one honest conversation, online or offline, can break that silence. You might not change minds overnight. But you can raise questions, plant seeds and help people see what’s really at stake. It’s not about arguing or throwing information at people, it’s about opening a conversation that might shift how someone sees things.
- These conversations work best when they come from a place of connection.
- Ask questions
- Share what matters to you and why
- Identify the issues and values you DO agree on
- Keep it honest and respectful.
Remember the goal isn’t to win an argument, it’s to make someone think twice.
1. The Challenge
- Dr. Karin Tamerius described her experience trying to reconnect with her “angry uncle,” a far-right Trump supporter who consumed only right-wing media like Fox News and Rush Limbaugh.
- At first, conversations were tense and unproductive but over time, by listening instead of arguing, she began to make progress.
2. The Key Insight: Trust Before Facts
- Tamerius emphasized that presenting facts doesn’t work unless trust has been established first.
- People are not impartial judges; they come with strong biases and emotional attachments to their beliefs.
- Persuasion is difficult because the human brain resists change, stability in beliefs helps people function in the world.
3. The “Elephant and Rider” Metaphor
- Borrowing from psychologist Jonathan Haidt, Tamerius compared the mind to a rider (rational brain) on an elephant (emotional brain). Hence the illustration.
- The rider can guide, but if the elephant (emotion) disagrees, emotion wins.
- Thus, appealing to emotion and respect is more effective than logic alone.
4. How to Start the Conversation
- Don’t start with judgment or contradiction.
- Begin by acknowledging differences respectfully, e.g.:
“I notice you watch a lot of Fox News. I usually watch CNN. We probably see things differently, and I’d like to understand where you’re coming from.”
- The goal is to listen and learn, not to “win” or correct.
5. Language Matters
- Avoid the word “but,” which makes people defensive.
- Use “yes, and” to keep dialogue open and collaborative.
- Example: “Yes, I see what you mean, and I also wonder about…”
- This keeps the emotional “elephant” calm and engaged.
6. Overall Lessons
- Effective dialogue across political divides depends on empathy, curiosity, and emotional safety.
- Facts come after connection — persuasion begins with respect, not argument.
STOP REFORM UK 